Orc Castle Tester’s Corner Vol. 1

image00-headerToday’s Tester’s Corner for Orc Castle is brought to you by Nurio!

When I think orcs, I think ogres. When I think ogres, I think Shrek. When I think Shrek, I think donkeys. When I think donkeys, I think Ponies. So, essentially, what I’m saying is that Orc Castle is pretty much the same as Pony Castle, and I love it for that reason alone.

…And maybe only that reason. Because out of all the nukige I’ve tested, this one meshed with me the least. And that’s not because it’s a bad nukige or anything, but because it’s all orcs and other such creatures. And for me, I need to be able to identify as someone in the porn to be able to enjoy it. And I’m no orc, or ogre, or mimic, or slime, or any of the other creatures you have in this game. I’m a bear, and a bear alone! (And no, there are sadly no bears in this game.)

So, I can hear all the people asking if this is actually a good game, just like little Johnny asks his mother if he gets socks for Christmas again this year. And the answer is yes, Johnny. Socks last year, socks this year, and socks next year. Socks to be you, Johnny. (And it wool sock for us if this game wasn’t any good…)

…Ahem. Something I always like to see in VNs are small little minigames that change up the pace a bit. To have a bit of a distraction in between pages upon pages of text. It’s what I liked in Koihime Musou, for example. And luckily, Orc Castle has a mini game and it’s pretty fun, if not pretty tough as well.

Look at all those orcs!

Look at all those orcs!

I can’t really explain what genre the minigame is because I don’t think I’ve ever played something like this before. The gods have told me it’s reminiscent of RTS, which kind of surprised me, because I’m an atheist. And this god was surprisingly kind to me. Anyway, don’t worry, because if I can’t explain what genre this game is, I can explain the whole minigame itself! Yes, the game gives you a (daunting) tutorial but honestly, who reads those? (I do.)

The idea of the game is that you have a castle (Gasp! Plot twist!) and a heroine is trying to invade it. There are 4 heroines (more on that later) and each of them has a different movement pattern. It’s up to you to predict how she will move, lay out traps in your castle in real time, and set up a chain combo where she falls into trap after trap. Time moves in turns, so every few seconds, the heroine takes a step or turns around and one turn has passed. Keep in mind, placing traps costs both MP and time/turns to appear. MP will be restored over time and after every battle.

The higher your chain combo caused by traps, the higher your damage multiplier will be. And how do you do damage? Simple! You just lead the poor little mousey into any of the soldiers you have around the castle. They engage into battle with the heroine and… …die. Yeah, your soldiers aren’t exactly heroes and are all expendable pawns you use to damage the heroine, all the way until she has 0 HP left. When the heroine has 0 HP, the last soldier who battled her will have his way with her if it’s a non-generic non-orc soldier, and after that, she gets sent to the Orc Prince.

Oh, did I mention, you (Yes, you!) are the Orc Prince? You’re the self-absorbed, good-for-nothing Orc Prince of the Orc Kingdom that’s at war with Asgard, a human kingdom. To prove your worth, you’re stationed at the Orc Castle and need to defend it against Asgardian intruders. Wow, maybe I should’ve lead with this piece of info? Well, too bad this isn’t a digital document where I could’ve easily cut and pasted this paragraph higher up… Oh well!

So, the minigame is a bit daunting at first (like my uncle), but when you start to understand the mechanics, it’s really doable (also like my uncle — not that I tried). There’s a bit more to it, like breaking the heroine’s armor with high combos, or making her avoid treasure chests. (The Orc Prince even noted how stupid it is to leave treasure lying around for the heroine to find!) Breaking the heroine’s armor eventually strips her naked and allows for very short scenes where a soldier has his way with her. It’s nice to see the Orc Prince cares enough about his soldiers to share the women with them. Such generosity basically made me choke up with emotions as I watched a thick throbbing orc cock ravage a woman’s pussy.


Sometimes, when the heroine opens a chest, you’re lucky, and she’s stripped and put into a ‘bikini’. Well, the game calls it a bikini…

Sometimes, when the heroine opens a chest, you’re lucky, and she’s stripped and put into a ‘bikini’. Well, the game calls it a bikini…

This nukige has 4 heroines – or cumsluts, as the orcs prefer to call them – which also means you have 4 stages in the minigame. Each stage has a few ‘levels’, though. The heroines represent the typical classes you have in RPGs: You have the Warrior (barbarian), Assassin (thief), Witch (mage) and the Imperial Knight (swordsman). Beyond that, the heroines’ appeal lies mostly in their physical qualities than their personal qualities. Though, if I had to pick a favorite, it’s Hilda. (That’s the girl you see at the very top of this Tester’s Corner.) And she’s my favorite for this one line of hers.

She’s a real Phoenix Wright. (And this is totally SFW now, right?) And look at those onomatopoeia!

She’s a real Phoenix Wright. (And this is totally SFW now, right?) And look at those onomatopoeia!

The orc soldier told Hilda to suck his censor circles (which are totally not hiding a throbbing orc cock) harder and gentler at the same time. My first reaction was to stand up, slam my desk, point my finger, and yell “OBJECTION!” in no reference to any particular game series. Much to my surprise, Hilda is a similar stickler for such details, even as she is munching away on that delicious, musky, purple meat rod naughty bits blocker. I’d honestly do the same if I were in her shoes — if she were wearing any.
Anyway, to get back to the other heroines, each of them has three main sex scenes. That means that each stage has 2 special soldiers (aside from the generic orc soldiers) the heroine can, err… ‘fall in love with’ and the Orc Prince always awaits at the end. Throw in an extra end scene and that makes for quite a lot of scenes in the end! Though I hope you’re not superstitious… Let me tell you, I once had to rewrite an entire presentation because my colleague didn’t want to have 13 pages, since that was bad luck according to him. I did the sensible thing and cried and ran away.

But I’m getting off track here! If, at this point, you’re not aware this is a nukige, then don’t worry. The game will make it very obvious when you open it. It throws, a lotta hentai CG your way, smack-dab right on the title screen. It made it troublesome to pretend I’m a clean, innocent, good little boy like my momma wants me to be. …Because my parents and my sister look over my shoulder like insanely curious hawks.


Don’t worry about the Japanese. I’m told that’ll get translated before release. Also, stupid title just barely left bits of her exposed.

Don’t worry about the Japanese. I’m told that’ll get translated before release. Also, stupid title just barely left bits of her exposed.

One of these days, they’ll realize I’m a bad boy who reads and corrects orc porn. But not today. Today, they’ll keep thinking my interests lie solely in pure women my age, and not her dog. N-Not that I’m into dogs or anything.

Yeah, I don’t like porn with orcs on human women… I’ll be honest about that. But that doesn’t make this a bad game. Honestly, the art looks good, and character designs are nice too, although a bit too big-breasted for my tastes. There’s actually a surprising amount of attention to detail too, with the sprites in the minigame changing depending on how damaged the heroine is. The music is okay, but nothing spectacular. Though, what I really like about the music is that each scene has its own distinct tune. So you won’t hear the same music twice! So, if orcs and the like are your thing, then this title is definitely for you.

…Seriously, there are a lot of orcs in here. In fact, I’m going to the doctor tomorrow and I fear he’ll tell me “Sorry, but you have Orcs” like some sort of infectious disease. …But it was still worth it, because I care a lot about correct English, whether it’s a nukige or not! It’s my life’s mission to correct all the English in the world, like some sort of obnoxious Superman nobody ever wanted.

My greatest nightmare…

My greatest nightmare…

Honestly, before starting this Tester’s Corner, I was thinking of writing everything in a Shrek accent and having Donkey as my assistant. But in the end, I decided against that, and I wonder how many innocent minds I’ve spared today with that decision. In that regard, I really am some sort of superhero. …And the villain, but let’s forget that minor detail.
And with that… Nurio, out!

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6 Comments

  1. Really entertaining blog post, I hope you’ll comment next games as well ^^

  2. I’m really glad that this game was translated, it’s one of my favourite eroge games.

    Too bad the sequels kinda move away from the whole stopping the girls gameplay by depleting their health. In the later games, the traps feel like they are used to move them along more than anything, it’s way more tedious.

    • That’s a shame… I did like the trapping minigame. It took some time to fully grasp, but once you’ve mastered it, it’s good fun to have the girl fall into a long string of traps

  3. Hi, Nurio! First, thank you for your great work on the game! Interestingly, I can definitely see some connections between your writing style in this blog and in your game translation. At any rate, O Masterful Tester, I need help on this game!

    I’m finding breaking the maidens’ armor easy enough, but draining their HP to zero feels nearly impossible, to the point where I feel I’m probably doing something wrong or leaving out a key weapon. I can’t even beat the first girl so far… I am primarily using catapaults and Left/Right turn wheels create combos to launch them into my Orc soldiers. I have not been making much use of either the washpans or the flash bombs because they use a lot of MP with uncertain results, and I also am not using time bombs much because I’m not sure how they work vis-a-vis running the girls into the orc soldiers. I’m guessing one of those last three items (flash bombs, washpans, time bombs) are the missing piece to my strategy.

    Any recommendations for me so I can not suck at this game as hard as Hilda sucks at… somethin’ else?

    • Wow, thank you for that compliment! I’m honored!

      Hmm… I don’t have the beta files handy, and it’s been a while since I last played, and I have pretty terrible memory, so I’m not 100% sure how well I can help you. But what I did was primarily make use of 3 traps: The trap that slides the heroine forward one space, the trap that forces the heroine to turn left, and the trap that forces the heroine to turn right. I just string these together from the target soldier to about where I think the heroine will be. Try to do this far into the room so you can make a long string of traps before the heroine arrives. If you do this correctly, you’ll really rack up that multiplier.
      Do take into account that each heroine has a different movement pattern. I believe you can find information about that somewhere in the game? You can use this information to your advantage to predict where the heroine will end up. And with that information, you could also confine the heroine to a certain part of the map while you’re busy stringing traps together.

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