Tester's Corner: Kotori Ed. Vol 1

Hmm, what’s this? A Tester’s Corner from Tim for Kotori Love ExP? Why is the date on it from the future… what…?僕と契約してって?

Da Capo: A Musical Term Meaning “The End is Nigh.”

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth criminal.

The game is seven parts, starting with DCPC (Da Capo Plus Communication) and ending with Kotori Plus, with a detour over to DCIF (Da Capo Innocent Finale, although it’s a bit less “innocent” this time if you know what I mean) and a few fan discs along the way. First up, DCPC:

Playing through DCPC gave me a chance to examine the whole Da Capo franchise more closely. I discovered something in the process.  Something involving a particular, expressionless white mascot creature.JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! IT’S KYUUBEY IN DISGUISE! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! DON’T STOP UNTIL IT’S DEAD!

Having discovered that Utamaru (a.k.a. Kyuubey) is, in fact, a heinous monstrosity bearing Faustian contracts, this entire series has taken on a new light.Poor Mako is already on the verge of becoming a witch. Even Morning Rescue can’t save her now.Moe wished to be the world’s greatest xylophonist. She got her wish, but at what price? Her chronic narcolepsy is clearly a product of Utamaru’s fell magicks.But perhaps Nanako’s fate is the most horrible of all. Her wish granted her the chance to have her manga published, but…Behold! This Stygian horror lurks behind every building, in every shadow, waiting to strike. Its hunger knows no bounds. Verily, it could devour worlds, but in keeping with the nature of all wishes granted by the wicked cat-like demon, it will feast upon naught but Nanako’s precious masterpieces.This unassuming mascot is actually an alien from the darkest reaches of space. She is no doubt in league with the wish-granting cat-squirrel-things. This is further proof that bears are giant, godless, marauding, killing machines and the number 1 threat to American security. No one is safe. No one.Sakura: the last hope for mankind? Perhaps those lightning bolts coming out of her head mean that she has already surrendered to despair, and the end is already inevitable. It might not be too late. Maybe she can break the chain of sadness. But since the love of her life is going to dump her for the school idol, I’m betting that Hatsune Island has seen its last sunrise.

So there you have it. DCPC is the story of how civilization is brought to the brink of annihilation because a twin-tailed loli made a deal with the Devil to be reunited with her totally-not-blood-related-and-that-makes-it-okay brother figure.

Okay, up next, DCIF.

Do you see anything wrong with this picture? Look closely. Yes, that's right. She's a goddamned Mac user.

The wishes granted by Utamaru/Kyuubey operate on the principle that one person is made happy, but an equal amount of misery must be created to maintain the cosmic balance. So in DCIF you wise up and sacrifice Nemu to the lords of Hell in exchange for being able to bang a hot redhead. Notice the cat figures on her bed and shelf? The soulless, uncaring eyes of Utamaru are everywhere. He sees all, and your strife is pleasing to him.

And finally, Kotori Plus.

Since Kotori’s wish for a ring on her finger and a meal ticket has been granted by Mephistophamaru, her two best friends have been doomed to become spinsters. The pair is quickly approaching Christmas Cake status, but they suppress the fear of dying alone in a house with 50 cats by sharing their twisted rape fantasies with each other.Meanwhile, Ayumi here is doing things for you Kotori doesn’t even have names for. Her hobbies are selling chocolate bananas and destroying families. She is clearly one of Kyuubey’s tools for sowing sadness and discord (and type 2 diabetes) into society. Unfortunately for him, Kotori is too trusting and naïve to realize that “I’m working late tonight,” is code for “I’m getting a hummer from a blonde with tits you could only dream of.” So you get a bunch of consequence-free sex. Of course, that means the requisite levels of agony and turmoil will probably have to be made up by Kotori’s friends suffering grisly deaths in bizarre farming accidents in the near future.

You thought Da Capo was a ticklish school romance? That’s what they want you to think. Clearly you have missed all the hidden messages. Now that the black box has been opened, review the entire series again, and you will come to understand. Now you can pay attention to the man behind the curtain.

Miharu's fragile mind has been traumatized by these shocking revelations.

Remember: if a small, white cat offers to grant you a wish, just say no.

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  1. “Her hobbies are selling chocolate bananas…”

    I assume she’s Miharu’s dealer, eh.

  2. Whoa, image overload!

  3. Whoa, whatever game you’re playing, I want to as well 😛

  4. lol That was very enjoyable

  5. Omg! It all makes sense now!

  6. lol This was hilarious, good job.

  7. I call shenanigans!

  8. Nintendo Maniac 64

    Ah HA, a Mac! I knew it, Steve Jobs was in on it all along!

    So THAT’S why Japan go ga-ga over Apple products – they’ve already been brainwashed! No wonder we can’t get any Android love from VN devs.

  9. HAHAHAHA MAC USER…….HAHAHAHA o god that cracked me up

  10. I f***ing lol’d. Thanks for making my day on a (usually) s***ty holiday.

  11. Well it’s nice to see that SOMEONE at MangaGamer is a huge Madoka fan

  12. Out of all these parts, do they all have “less innocent” content or only certain ones?

  13. This is proof that this an April Fool’s joke. Everyone knows dogs are the real masterminds behind twisted stuff in games and not cats:

    • I think Misaki and Miharu’s paths in DC1 would refute your claims as far as they apply to Da Capo – the cat was responsible for everything.

      • Both Utamaru and Harimao are innocent.

        Obviously, the real culprit is… Archimedes! Corrupting Ojo and T.P.’ing Sakura, how shameless.

  14. this was funny xD more like this in the future.

  15. This is a wonderful game! XD

  16. Put this shit on disk PLEASE, I just finished my first arc of D.C and I am totally doing Kotori’s route last…so I can either wait for this or D.C IF, depends on how impatient I am :3 keep up the badass work!

  17. These post had many clues that indicates an future release of Time Paladin Sakura by MG XD

  18. Speaking of Time Paladin Sakura…show of hands how many people would like to see Sakura meet the Doctor?

  19. Bwahaha! This was… not exactly insightful into Kotori ED, but it more than made up for it in terms of sheer hilarity and win!

    (Even since I first saw Da Capo, though, I’ve thought that Utamaru is sinister as anything. Creepy cat is creepy…)

    • Well, this post did have one informative bit! Kotori’s got a fine ass and if that doesn’t sell you on this what will??

  20. It’s too bad I didn’t get most of these jokes, because I know next to nothing about Madoka. I sorta wish I knew what this was all about…

    By the way, that’s not a jab at Tim’s writing at all. He apparently did a great job, being able to make so many people laugh.
    (I did laugh at the Mac joke, though.)

    • Madoka is a faustian interpretation of the magical girl genre.

      The Time Paladin remark, I’m assuming, is a reference to the (upcoming?) Time Paladin Sakura title that Circus has.

      • I see. That sounds interesting enough. I might check it out some time.

        *adds Madoka to the endless list*

        • Well when it comes to Madoka, a few things to keep in mind are that it takes to about episode 3 for some people to really hit the “Mega interested spot” and that it’s a pretty depressing show.

          Still it’s depressing for a reason, but even with the depressingnes their is always still hope at the end of the tunnel.

  21. When will it be released Pls tell me this month XD <3 Kotori~~~~

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