Hmm, what’s this? A Tester’s Corner from Tim for Kotori Love ExP? Why is the date on it from the future… what…?僕と契約してって？
Da Capo: A Musical Term Meaning “The End is Nigh.”
The game is seven parts, starting with DCPC (Da Capo Plus Communication) and ending with Kotori Plus, with a detour over to DCIF (Da Capo Innocent Finale, although it’s a bit less “innocent” this time if you know what I mean) and a few fan discs along the way. First up, DCPC:
Playing through DCPC gave me a chance to examine the whole Da Capo franchise more closely. I discovered something in the process. Something involving a particular, expressionless white mascot creature.JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! IT’S KYUUBEY IN DISGUISE! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! DON’T STOP UNTIL IT’S DEAD!
Having discovered that Utamaru (a.k.a. Kyuubey) is, in fact, a heinous monstrosity bearing Faustian contracts, this entire series has taken on a new light.Poor Mako is already on the verge of becoming a witch. Even Morning Rescue can’t save her now.Moe wished to be the world’s greatest xylophonist. She got her wish, but at what price? Her chronic narcolepsy is clearly a product of Utamaru’s fell magicks.But perhaps Nanako’s fate is the most horrible of all. Her wish granted her the chance to have her manga published, but…Behold! This Stygian horror lurks behind every building, in every shadow, waiting to strike. Its hunger knows no bounds. Verily, it could devour worlds, but in keeping with the nature of all wishes granted by the wicked cat-like demon, it will feast upon naught but Nanako’s precious masterpieces.This unassuming mascot is actually an alien from the darkest reaches of space. She is no doubt in league with the wish-granting cat-squirrel-things. This is further proof that bears are giant, godless, marauding, killing machines and the number 1 threat to American security. No one is safe. No one.Sakura: the last hope for mankind? Perhaps those lightning bolts coming out of her head mean that she has already surrendered to despair, and the end is already inevitable. It might not be too late. Maybe she can break the chain of sadness. But since the love of her life is going to dump her for the school idol, I’m betting that Hatsune Island has seen its last sunrise.
So there you have it. DCPC is the story of how civilization is brought to the brink of annihilation because a twin-tailed loli made a deal with the Devil to be reunited with her totally-not-blood-related-and-that-makes-it-okay brother figure.
Okay, up next, DCIF.
The wishes granted by Utamaru/Kyuubey operate on the principle that one person is made happy, but an equal amount of misery must be created to maintain the cosmic balance. So in DCIF you wise up and sacrifice Nemu to the lords of Hell in exchange for being able to bang a hot redhead. Notice the cat figures on her bed and shelf? The soulless, uncaring eyes of Utamaru are everywhere. He sees all, and your strife is pleasing to him.
And finally, Kotori Plus.
Since Kotori’s wish for a ring on her finger and a meal ticket has been granted by Mephistophamaru, her two best friends have been doomed to become spinsters. The pair is quickly approaching Christmas Cake status, but they suppress the fear of dying alone in a house with 50 cats by sharing their twisted rape fantasies with each other.Meanwhile, Ayumi here is doing things for you Kotori doesn’t even have names for. Her hobbies are selling chocolate bananas and destroying families. She is clearly one of Kyuubey’s tools for sowing sadness and discord (and type 2 diabetes) into society. Unfortunately for him, Kotori is too trusting and naïve to realize that “I’m working late tonight,” is code for “I’m getting a hummer from a blonde with tits you could only dream of.” So you get a bunch of consequence-free sex. Of course, that means the requisite levels of agony and turmoil will probably have to be made up by Kotori’s friends suffering grisly deaths in bizarre farming accidents in the near future.
You thought Da Capo was a ticklish school romance? That’s what they want you to think. Clearly you have missed all the hidden messages. Now that the black box has been opened, review the entire series again, and you will come to understand. Now you can pay attention to the man behind the curtain.
Remember: if a small, white cat offers to grant you a wish, just say no.